5 Money Questions to Ask Your Partner!

5 Money Questions to Ask Your Partner!


You’ve been dating for a while now, and
things seem to be going well. You have the same hobbies, you both love dogs
and kids, and neither of you listens to dubstep. It might be time for someone to pop the big
question… “What’s your credit score?” [MUSIC] Nothing kills the mood like prying into your
partner’s financial history, so it’s not surprising that many young couples will spend
hundreds of hours planning their weddings but almost none preparing their financial
merger. And that’s a big deal. J: Nearly one-in-three couples say finances
cause the most stress in their relationship, followed distantly by intimacy, children and
in-laws. More than a third of millennials in relationships
fight about money at least once per week! Which is troubling, because couples who disagree
about money once a week or more were over 30% percent more likely to get divorced than
those who disagree a couple times a month. A lot of this marital strife can be avoided
just by having a few honest discussions before tying the knot. It can be hard to broach the subject, so to
make it easier for all those young lovers out there, here are five financial topics
you should discuss with your future partner. What do you earn, what do you own, and what
do you owe? It can be difficult to reveal this information,
but it’s best to just rip the band-aid off. After all, lack of money is not as bad as
lack of communication. According to one study, 4 in 10 couples don’t
agree on what their partner’s income was. And 10% of them got the number wrong by $25,000
or more. Over one-third of couples disagreed on the
amount of their household’s assets. Good planning is impossible if each of you
only has half the information, and getting everything out on the table will only strengthen
trust. Philip and I suggest having this talk in two
parts. Send each other an email with a simple breakdown
of your finances and then a few days later come together in a non-judgmental frame of
mind to discuss the human story behind those numbers. How was money dealt with in your household
growing up? As much as we don’t like to admit it, we
are heavily influenced by the environment we were raised in, so learning about your
partner’s family traditions can offer a lot of insight and understanding into their
financial habits. Did they grow up on a tight budget? Did one parent run the show or did they share
responsibility? Were they ever taught to balance a checkbook? The second part of this conversation is figuring
out what traditions you each grew up with that you don’t want to replicate. Maybe your partner’s parents struggled with
debt so it’s very important to them to not get into that same quagmire. What will be yours, mine and ours? It’s becoming more common for couples to
keep separate accounts even after marriage. Maybe they’re afraid of losing independence,
maybe they just haven’t gotten around to it yet, but they might be missing out on some
benefits of a joint account like easier organization and transparency. If you and your partner decide to keep separate
accounts, make sure that you’re not creating places where secrets can hide. About one third of spouses admit to committing
financial infidelity, which means intentionally deceiving your partner about how you’re
spending or managing money. Of those, 16% ended up in divorce expressly
because of it. And remember, you don’t need to have separate
accounts to enjoy financial independence. Julia and I have agreed on a set amount of
personal splurge money per month. It’s always equal and we can do whatever
we want with it with zero discussion. It gives us space to be ourselves without
fear of lectures or petty squabbles. How much do you want to spend on kids? While most couples will talk about whether
they want kids, far fewer will discuss the massive financial impact–which can start
before they’re even born! About 15% of couples struggle with infertility,
and the cost of a common fertility treatment in the U.S ranges from about $12,000 – $15,000. The average private adoption costs almost
$40,000! Once you’ve got the kid, you have to decide
about daycare, public school versus private, and of course, college. Right now, the average cost of sending a child
to a 4-year public university is around $100K. It’s projected to be double that 18 years
from now! Of course, this is an ongoing conversation
that you’ll be having for many years, but it’s important to weigh the financial impact
of these choices as early as possible. What are your financial goals in order of
priority? Sharing your financial goals with each other
can actually be kinda fun! But in our experience, taking on too many
goals at once can make it less likely you’ll achieve any of them. If one of you is focused on buying a house,
and the other on starting a business, neither of you may get very far. But if you join forces and agree on what to
tackle first, both of you will get where you want to be faster. A 2015 study asked couples for their best
piece of financial advice to newlyweds. The top two suggestions were to save as early
as possible for retirement and to make all financial decisions together. Not all of these conversations will result
in firm agreements, but when they do, make sure to write them down in a sort of Financial
Constitution and then sign it! For example, we commit to check in before
we spend more than $200 on anything. It might sound unromantic, but it’s all
too easy for two people remember the same conversation differently! And you can always jointly decide to amend
your constitution! It’s not set in stone. Of course, if you’re already married, you
may have skipped over a few of these questions–but take heart! It’s never too late to bring them up and
turn a fresh page. And that’s our two cents!

52 Comments

  • RengokuTM

    August 16, 2019

    6:12 Nitpick: is backlash, / is forward slash

    Reply
  • Samuel Obiwale

    August 20, 2019

    Hey babe, what's your credit score? 😂

    Reply
  • FAKE NAME

    August 22, 2019

    Great insight. These videos are always helpful. Thanks you so much!

    Reply
  • Cleiton Oliveira

    August 22, 2019

    Just for you to know: it's almost impossible to escape a divorce rape from a woman.

    Reply
  • JAFERYL

    August 24, 2019

    I LOVE YOUR CHANNEL SO MUCH AND IT HELPS ME SO MUCH, SO PRACTICAL! LOVE YOU GUYS! KEEP UP!

    Reply
  • snurk agurk

    August 25, 2019

    Have a girlfriend, but not adulthood

    Reply
  • Adam Schindler

    August 26, 2019

    The fixed "splurge money" for both folks seems like an extremely simple and effective solution to a complicated and all-too-common problem. I also loved the suggested format for bringing up finances with your partner in an email followed by a discussion.

    Reply
  • János Dobszai

    August 29, 2019

    Does anybody know an application, spreadsheet template or something to keep track of money, following the model from the video?

    Reply
  • Randy Pullman

    September 1, 2019

    Burn through it like coked up rock stars. You can thank me later

    Reply
  • Joseph Holmes

    September 13, 2019

    Community College is a quarter of what public universities are

    Reply
  • xhauntedpassionx

    September 16, 2019

    My boyfriend and I didn't even have to ask each other these questions, we just blurt out financially-related stresses, goals, excitements, and actions randomly as a way to get our thoughts/worries off our chests. We graduated college together but in completely different situations: he lived with his parents through school and has no student loans whatsoever, while I lived on my own throughout school and owe $33 000. He owns a new car and has to pay a lot on insurance and his car loan, while I take the bus everywhere and have no major transportation costs. We both have our individual thing setting us back, and are determined to support each other through tackling those issues.

    Reply
  • Air Strike Technologies

    September 16, 2019

    Question number six. Speaking of money dear, have you ever did a peter in an alley for money?

    Reply
  • Elliott Miller

    September 16, 2019

    My credit score is zero. Ladies where you at.

    Reply
  • Sanjeev N

    September 17, 2019

    How many of you watch this just to see how cute they both are?
    P.S: I admit that they're cute!

    Reply
  • kimberly Alvarez

    September 18, 2019

    Is that mustache real ?

    Reply
  • Py16777216

    September 18, 2019

    800+ I love spending other people's money responsibly.

    Reply
  • The Observer That Knows nothing

    September 18, 2019

    This topic is one of the reasons i don’t want to get married. Married life is too complicated for me. Im happy living single in my own home with my dog

    Reply
  • All these snitches

    September 18, 2019

    Yeah send those datas to the NSA

    Reply
  • Kusalin Thanyakullsajja

    September 18, 2019

    1:00 how does that graph even work…

    Reply
  • Megan Pinch

    September 19, 2019

    On question two: my partner and I have a joint account and our own independent accounts. The joint account is being used for rent, groceries, bills. We also have an additional savings account where we save $1000 per month, and then transfer that to a short term deposit account (time depends on the best interest rate at that time. Current it's 1.85% for 4 months). After that matures, we roll over + add in the money that's been saving up that time (for us that'll be $4000 for that 4 months. That plus the initial amount (add interest gained that goes into that new account).

    Keeps up independent while also saving up for a goal we both want

    Reply
  • Drale L

    September 19, 2019

    Mostly single guy here. Really don't worry about my partners money. I hang with them, they pay their way, I pay mine. Fun times with no strings. I'm living my Happily ever after.

    Roughly 50% of married couples end in divorce, men who are divorced are something like 2-3 times more likely to kill themselves than women divorced (and men have a higher overall stat then too, keep in mind). Why get married? Organization and transparency.

    Seems legit. I'll grab the checkbook for my wedding, which on average costs 30,000 and after that divorce costs 15,000 after an average of eight years together.

    Marriage is antiquated, expensive, and emotionally destructive. Be smart with who you marry kids, it could kill you and your future.

    Stats were grabbed from google.
    Brought to you by the ever single, never alone guy.

    Reply
  • Pratik Rohila

    September 20, 2019

    I would advice my older self not to have kids , its expensive

    Reply
  • Tuovi Sjölund

    September 20, 2019

    Wow we dont have financial scores in Finland

    Reply
  • Rahul Gaikwad

    September 20, 2019

    Iam single & happy to be so….should I ask myself these questions?

    Reply
  • Jason Lee

    September 20, 2019

    Girlfriend wants to get married and wants a 2500 dollar wedding ring, but she struggling with her own bills…. girl, you bugging.

    Reply
  • Charisse Lambert

    September 20, 2019

    When we got married, we were unified financially and transparent with finances by having the passwords to each other's banking accounts, but we found that it was so much easier to be unified and transparent when we merged funds. It also helped us better budget, reduce spending, and save more.

    Reply
  • Jared Smith

    September 21, 2019

    Money was never talked about at the table. As an adult, I love talking numbers and learning about finances. Even though I'm not there yet? I still enjoy talking about it.

    Reply
  • Dm Suja

    September 21, 2019

    Him: Hey babe, I'll show you my credit score if you show me yours
    Her: ok
    Him: shows credit score
    Her: WOW babe! ITS SOO BIG! I didn't think it would fit into my account
    Him: yea, 770 is pretty big right?
    Her: shows higher 800s

    Reply
  • CW Productions

    September 22, 2019

    great info keep it up

    Reply
  • Viridian

    September 22, 2019

    Problem with a joint account is if you're a guy you get screwed over in divorce. then the saying of her money is hers and his money is hers also. One other reason people may keep their partner in the dark to their full finances is it's shown women in general only marry men who make more then them and are more likely to divorce their husband if they make less then them. And given most marriages end in divorces, often rather nastily, it's stupid to not plan for divorce. And shame on people for shaming other out of being prepared. Marriage means very little as a oath or bond to people now a days anyway, and only invoke it when they stand to gain and ignore their promise when they have better options, or they don't "FEEL" like honoring it. I think both parties need to have preparations in case things fall apart, trust may have been all well and good in the past when divorce was rather rare, but now it's like not having insurance and that stuff is for stuff often not likely to ever happen, this will happen to a majority of people.

    Reply
  • Brett Wood

    September 22, 2019

    This channel talks about a lot of things I learned in my family finance class in college. Invaluable info!

    Reply
  • larnizzo91

    September 23, 2019

    What’s wrong with dubstep? Lol

    Reply
  • luqman mattan

    September 24, 2019

    She is wearing my traditional female clothing wow. This made it to the west too.

    Reply
  • Peter Jack

    September 26, 2019

    cost are different in Canada!

    Reply
  • Sven van Crombrugge

    September 27, 2019

    I would not recommend writing information in email that you wouldn't share in a crowded space.

    Reply
  • Gabe Darrett

    September 29, 2019

    0:10 Now who doesn't love a little dubstep every now and then?!

    Reply
  • Seaslug

    September 29, 2019

    "Neither of you listen to dubstep" I FEEL PERSONALLY ATTACKED

    Reply
  • Noel Aguirre

    September 30, 2019

    So the wife and I used to have these unpleasant financial conversations, I came up with the bright idea to avoid credit card debt and car payments. in regards to the car payment, I told her lets to assume your car payment is $500.00 forego that payment you can use $500.00 per month as your spending money, she fell for it. I think she already forgot that conversation. She's happy driving a 13-year-old car. So, in the end, no credit card debt and no car payment it does wonders to the relationship it also makes life soo much easier.
    BTW car maintenance is soo much cheaper when compared to never-ending monthly payments.

    Reply
  • Monica Haehl

    September 30, 2019

    I cannot get enough of this channel! This is excellent advice.

    Reply
  • Leila

    September 30, 2019

    Regarding point 3, the solution is simple : both person should keep a personal account and have a third joint account. This account should be used for rent, food, taking care of the kids… This way everyone keep some level of independence but they still contribute to the household together. That’s what my parents did.

    Reply
  • Annie

    October 1, 2019

    couple goals u two ❤️ you've given me the importance to be finally literate. recommending this video to my man

    Reply
  • Tony Galvan

    October 2, 2019

    I don't take any financial advise from a guy who is married.

    Reply
  • Claudia Guerra

    October 3, 2019

    Correction: BOTH of us listen to dubstep #LostLandsFam

    Reply
  • Dj San

    October 3, 2019

    F*CK YOU I LOVE TO DUBSTEP!

    Reply
  • Patrick Moore

    October 4, 2019

    making finances sexy. thank you Two Cents!

    Reply
  • GrnXnham

    October 4, 2019

    Hmmm…this must be why we've been married for 25 years. We almost never argue about money. When we got married, I paid almost no attention to the wedding and instead I spent a lot of time preparing for the merger of our finances and talking to my future wife about money. We also have always lived beneath our means. I think people who spend money they don't have argue more about money because they can feel the stress it's putting on them to not have any money.

    Reply
  • ogogo ogpgpg

    October 4, 2019

    Better stay not married . It's overrated anyway.

    Reply
  • smileandlaughs

    October 7, 2019

    "What's your credit score?" LoL

    Reply
  • Mrityunjaya Hiremath

    October 31, 2019

    One of the best couples on the internet ❤️

    Reply
  • no no

    November 1, 2019

    >having debt

    Reply
  • Ani Naderi

    November 6, 2019

    I don’t understand couples who are in relationships but have separate checking accounts and dont talk about money..

    Reply
  • Bhupinder Singh

    November 16, 2019

    I love you two so much.

    Reply

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